7 Steps for #Business #Success from a Green Beret

Here are 7 ways to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, according to one of the toughest and most resilient people I know, Green Beret Jason Van Camp.

1. Start.

The first step is always the most uncomfortable. All you have to do is show up. The battle is half won if you just show up. I get it. It’s uncomfortable to start something.
If possible, make the decision to start on your own rather than have someone make that decision for you. Once you start, you are going to want to quit immediately.
Whenever you start something, it sucks. You start a diet, it sucks. You start working out, it sucks.
Remind yourself that you made a decision. You are already committed and there is no going back.
2. Don’t quit.

You’ve decided to start. You’re not seeing results. It’s difficult. You want to quit. It’s OK. Just keep pushing forward.
You’re going to start thinking of a way out where you can quit and save face. Don’t do it. Don’t give yourself an out. Just don’t. Don’t give yourself any options. Either you succeed or you fail.
No excuses.
The point when you are just about to give up is the precise moment when the other guy gives up. At some point you are going to ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” You better have an answer. What is driving you? Is it something someone said or did to you? Is it a competition?
Is it a challenge? Is it something that you have to prove to yourself? Is it just pride? Whatever it is, it had better be powerful.
3. Push yourself past your comfort zone.

At some point, you are going to say to yourself, “I’ve never done this before” or “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
We’ve all been there. Here’s a trick: Don’t say it out loud. Just pretend to be confident. Fake it till you make it. It’s scary, but I promise you this: When it’s over, you are going to say, “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.” Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.

4. Embrace “the suck.”

The situation is bad–deal with it. And don’t just deal with it–open your arms and welcome it as you would an old friend. You know him well.
Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, he shows up. “The suck” is here to make you tougher. He’s a friend that arrived to make you better. Instead of complaining, celebrate the blessing that is the suck.
If you are embracing the suck by yourself, laugh at how ridiculous the situation is. You are building your mental and physical toughness points. If you are embracing the suck with others, you’ve just made new best friends for life.
Embracing the suck in a group is a powerful bonding experience.
5. Be around like-minded people.

Create a support network. Talk about your experiences. The worse the experience it is to you, the better the story it is to everyone else.
Soon, you will be seeking uncomfortable experiences to share with your friends. Be a good storyteller.
6. Recognize your improvements.

Track your progress. Revel in it. You are now a changed person. You know it because you see it. Build your confidence by going back to what before was uncomfortable and go through the experience again.
You are seeing your progress in real time. By nature, you are going to want to push the envelope to find out your boundaries. You will find yourself saying, “I wish it would suck more.” It’s our human nature to know what we are able to overcome.
7. Rinse. Repeat.

There’s an old Russian saying, povtorenie mat ucheniya, which means “repetition is the mother of learning.”
The more you perform the same activity, the more confident you become. Confidence is a tangible thing–it comes from practice and repetition.

READ MORE   By Chris Dessi 


#Men Its OK To Talk ++#JPLOGAN #ItsOKToTalk #MentalHealth

#Suicide #Depression

#Intervention #Prevention

When people post selfies with their thumbs and pointer fingers connected in a circle, commonly interpreted as a gesture of “OK” ― they’re actually trying to save lives.

As part of the #ItsOkayToTalk campaign, these photos are promoting the idea that encouraging conversation about mental health and suicide could reduce the stigma that prevents men from speaking up about their struggles.

This initiative couldn’t be more necessary: In the U.S., the national suicide rate is the highest it’s been in 30 years, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. What’s more, men are at greater risk. White men accounted for seven out of 10 suicides in 2014, and the highest suicide rate was in middle-aged men, according to a data analysis from the National Center for Health Statistics.

Stigma is a huge factor in mental health issues and also in suicide, according to Kristin Holland, a behavioral scientist in the CDC’s Division of Violence Prevention Surveillance.

“Even when at-risk individuals do seek health care, stigma about suicide can prevent them from disclosing their thoughts about suicide with their medical providers,” Holland told The Huffington Post.

That’s why Luke Ambler, whose brother, Andy, died by suicide at the age of 23, created #ItsOkayToTalk in July, along with the Facebook group, Andy’s Man Club ― to give guys a place to “reach out, speak to people, tell them how you’re feeling, and never let it get too bad… because it’s okay to talk, and we all go through struggles in life,” he told The Telegraph.

How masculinity gets in the way of good mental health

“Some scholars talk about suicide among U.S. men as a ‘silent epidemic’ because of how often it occurs and how little public awareness there is about this fact,” Tristan Bridges, assistant professor of sociology at The College of Brockport in New York who focuses on masculinity, told HuffPost in an email.

“There are lots of contributing factors to men’s heightened risk of suicide, and masculinity is a big one,” he said. “The emotional stoicism often thought to characterize masculinity also holds men back from actually opening up about their feelings and struggles. Challenging our cultural definition of masculinity is often framed as ‘male-bashing.’ But suicide is one of many issues that demonstrates that men have a stake in challenging gender inequality, too. Some of their lives depend on it.”

There are lots of contributing factors to men’s heightened risk of suicide, and masculinity is a big one. Tristan Bridges, assistant professor of sociology at The College of Brockport in New York

Of course, suicide is not just a male issue ― it’s a public health issue, and we have a long way to go to address it. But by opening up about the specific influence of gender norms, we’re taking a big step in the right direction.

Read on to learn about six men who are participating in the #ItsOkayToTalk campaign:


#Luxury #RealEstate #Business: #RyanKavanaugh $10M #Estate

Ryan Kavanaugh, founder of the of the once-high-flying Relativity Media, which emerged in March from a 2015 Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing, has his East Coast-style spread in Malibu’s celeb-popular Point Dume area up for sale at a hair less than $10 million. 

Luxury Real Estate  Ryan  Kavanaugh
The pugnacious film financier, married for the third time last year, at a star-studded ceremony, to Sports Illustrated model Jessica Roffey, acquired the approximately one-acre, gated estate more than two years ago — while still married to his ballet dancer second wife Britta Lazenga — for exactly $7 million, from germophobic comedian and game-show host Howie Mandel.
The shingle-clad, stone-accented and gambrel-roofed Nantucket-style home comes in at just under 5,400 square feet, with five bedrooms and five-and-a-half bathrooms plus a poolside guesthouse. Luxuriously appointed and comfortably casual, the residence features a double-height living/dining room with bookcase-flanked fireplace, an office/den with vaulted ceiling, an eight-seat screening room, and a marble-countered kitchen that opens to a large family room with informal dining area. The upper-level master suite, comprised of marble bathroom and custom-fitted walk-in closet, opens through French doors to a private terrace with stacked-stone fireplace and open views that extend over the Santa Monica Bay to Catalina Island. A roomy terrace along the rear of the house includes a fireplace and built-in barbecue, and the self-contained guesthouse next to the saltwater swimming pool features a half bathroom and full kitchen on the ground floor, plus an en suite bedroom upstairs.

In the fall of 2009, Kavanaugh paid renowned class-action attorney Thomas W. Girardi $7 million for an oceanfront house along Malibu’s La Costa Beach that was sold last summer for $8.75 million. And he previously, and ever-so-briefly, owned a two-acre equestrian estate in the Mandeville Canyon area he picked up from Dennis Quaid in late 2011 for $9.5 million and lucratively flipped less than a year later for $11.2 million to a couple of apparel industry executives.
The property is represented by Sotheby’s International Realty agent Leslie Kavanaugh, who happens to be Ryan’s mother.
Read more from Variety

#Marriage: Why #Women Leave #HuffingtonPost

6 Reasons Women Leave Their Marriages, According To Marriage Therapists

“So many women don’t feel seen, heard or validated in the relationship.”

Women considering divorce often turn to therapy as a last-ditch effort to save their marriages. Many times, their husbands have remained painfully unaware of the marital problems until that point, said Christine Wilke, a marriage therapist in Easton, Pennsylvania

“That’s exactly why good communication skills are such a key ingredient in a healthy marriage,” she told The Huffington Post. “So many women don’t feel seen, heard or validated in the relationship.”

Below, Wilke and other marriage therapists share the most common reasons women file for divorce. (We also recently asked them to share the most common issues men bring up before initiating divorce. Read that here.)

1. They feel taken for granted and overly responsible for the relationship.

For a marriage to work, both spouses need to show up. It requires attention, effort, intention and strong communication. At the end of the day, many wives take stock of all they do for their families and wonder where their spouse has been, said Kristin Davin, a psychologist and meditator in New York City.

“These women feel they carry the weight of the relationship, do most of the emotional work and constantly have to find new and novel things to do to keep the relationship alive,” she said. “It gets frustrating when they don’t receive equal (or close to equal) care in return. After a while, they say, ‘why bother’?”

2. They keep having the same argument with their partner.

Many couples in marriage therapy have had the same argument about the same issues for years. When their needs continue to go unmet, mutual resentment grows ― a factor that is lethal to a relationship, said Olga Bloch, a marriage and family therapist in Rockville, Maryland.

“When women feel like they’re unable impact change, you start hearing statements like ‘You never listen to me’ or ‘your apologies are hollow and mean nothing,’” Bloch said. “This is particularly difficult if there is an addiction involved. Eventually women give up on the relationship and begin to look for a way out because staying no longer is an option.”

3. They’re not satisfied with their sex lives.

For most couples, sex is a good barometer for the general health of the marriage. When women complain about their sex lives, there’s usually greater problems outside the bedroom, Davin said.

“Wives in sexually frustrating marriages feel exhausted and emotionally starved,” she said. “Or sometimes the issue is: can the couple be affectionate with one another without it always leading to sex? Sexual intimacy can easily become an issue that drives a wedge in a marriage.”

4. They don’t talk and emotionally connect with their husband like they used to.

Many long-married women are driven to divorce because they no longer feel emotionally tied to their partners, Wilke said.

“In fact, I’d say it’s the number one reason women leave their marriages,” she said. “This issue in particular makes an unhappy spouse so much more vulnerable to having an affair and looking for that connection elsewhere.”

5. They’ve outgrown their partners.

It’s inevitable that people will grow as individuals throughout the course of their relationship. It only becomes a real issue when they grow apart and one partner is resistant to reconnecting, said Anne Crowley, an Austin, Texas-based psychologist.

“As a marriage changes and evolves, it’s not uncommon to hear a wife tell her husband ‘I feel like I’ve outgrown you’ ― especially if they’ve had kids,” Crowley said. “Often the wife has invited and encouraged her spouse to go to therapy, to bridge that gap. If he’s resistant, it creates an impasse for the couple: The wife does not want to continue to repeat the same unhealthy patterns and he wants to maintain the status quo.”

6. They get to the point where divorce is the only way to put themselves first again.

Often, longstanding issues like addiction or uncontrolled anger will simply push women over the edge, said Winifred Reilly, a marriage and family therapist in Berkeley, California.

“What I hear again and again is that they would rather end their marriage than face another day, week or year with their spouse and troubling issues that never get better.”

After enduring the behavior for so long, many wives realize they don’t deserve to live with tension and disappointment day in and day out.

“Sometimes, despite their love, commitment and best roll-up-their-sleeves efforts to stay married, people just reach a point of no return and choose to split up,” Reilly said.

Read More from the Huffington Post

#July4th #IndependenceDay #History #MillionaireMindJPLOGAN #KGBN

When the initial battles in the Revolutionary War broke out in April 1775, few colonists desired complete independence from Great Britain, and those who did were considered radical. By the middle of the following year, however, many more colonists had come to favor independence, thanks to growing hostility against Britain and the spread of revolutionary sentiments such as those expressed in Thomas Paine’s bestselling pamphlet “Common Sense,” published in early 1776. On June 7, when the Continental Congress met at thePennsylvania State House (later Independence Hall) in Philadelphia, the Virginiadelegate Richard Henry Lee introduced a motion calling for the colonies’ independence. Amid heated debate, Congress postponed the vote on Lee’s resolution, but appointed a five-man committee–including Thomas Jefferson of Virginia, John Adams of Massachusetts, Roger Sherman of Connecticut,Benjamin Franklin of Pennsylvania and Robert R. Livingston of New York–to draft a formal statement justifying the break with Great Britain.

On July 2nd, the Continental Congress voted in favor of Lee’s resolution for independence in a near-unanimous vote (the New York delegation abstained, but later voted affirmatively). On that day, John Adams wrote to his wife Abigail that July 2 “will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival” and that the celebration should include “Pomp and Parade…Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other.” On July 4th, the Congress formally adopted theDeclaration of Independence, which had been written largely by Jefferson. Though the vote for actual independence took place on July 2nd, from then on the 4th became the day that was celebrated as the birth of American independence.

In the pre-Revolutionary years, colonists had held annual celebrations of the king’s birthday, which traditionally included the ringing of bells, bonfires, processions and speechmaking. By contrast, during the summer of 1776 some colonists celebrated the birth of independence by holding mock funerals for King George III, as a way of symbolizing the end of the monarchy’s hold on America and the triumph of liberty. Festivities including concerts, bonfires, parades and the firing of cannons and muskets usually accompanied the first public readings of the Declaration of Independence, beginning immediately after its adoption. Philadelphia held the first annual commemoration of independence on July 4, 1777, while Congress was still occupied with the ongoing war. George Washington issued double rations of rum to all his soldiers to mark the anniversary of independence in 1778, and in 1781, several months before the key American victory at Yorktown, Massachusetts became the first state to make July 4th an official state holiday.

After the Revolutionary War, Americans continued to commemorate Independence Day every year, in celebrations that allowed the new nation’s emerging political leaders to address citizens and create a feeling of unity. By the last decade of the 18th century, the two major political parties–Federalists and Democratic-Republicans–that had arisen began holding separate Independence Day celebrations in many large cities.

The tradition of patriotic celebration became even more widespread after theWar of 1812, in which the United States again faced Great Britain. In 1870, the U.S. Congress made July 4th a federal holiday; in 1941, the provision was expanded to grant a paid holiday to all federal employees. Over the years, the political importance of the holiday would decline, but Independence Day remained an important national holiday and a symbol of patriotism.

Falling in mid-summer, the Fourth of July has since the late 19th century become a major focus of leisure activities and a common occasion for family get-togethers, often involving fireworks and outdoor barbecues. The most common symbol of the holiday is the American flag, and a common musical accompaniment is “The Star-Spangled Banner,” the national anthem of the United States.

Read More about July4th Independence Day